A Winter in India

We four have been trying to figure out how to adequately describe this wedding, and have decided that it is impossible. It was at an outdoor venue a fair distance out of town, beyond the New Delhi airport. The groom arrived on a white horse accompanied by a band, revelers, hand carried electric chandeliers and LOTS of fireworks. I have never been so close to fireworks; ash was raining down on us. We were amazed that the horse stayed calm throughout.

As the groom’s party approached the gate, the bride’s female relatives and friends try to interfere with their entry, but they persist. There was a ceremony of garlanding, the males of the bride’s family, wearing turbans of one color combination, greeting equal status males of the groom’s family, wearing turbans of a different color combination. This not only involved exchange of marigold garlands, but sometimes involved one man lifting the other off the ground. In many cases, the bride’s family representative put a ring on the finger of the groom’s family rep.

We all then entered through the gate into an enormous outdoor area filled with tents. Some had tables and chairs; many more had food. Snacks of all description, each being served from a small plastic kiosk that looked like the county fair. Quite a contrast to the elegance of everyone’s dress. There was a full buffet and bars and coffee bar and fruit table. I never even saw all of it, there was so much. We estimate there were 1000 people, and all very elegantly dressed. Many of the women had very detailed henna designs on their hands.

We had arrived a little before 10 PM. Sometime after 11, after the groom had been sitting in the wedding platform for a while, the bride appeared, escorted by female relatives. She walked under a canopy that was held over her by male relatives, and joined her soon-to-be husband on the platform. More fireworks and very loud music. Then a long period in which people went up to greet them, and each group had their picture taken. The photo is the wedding couple plus Lavina’s parents and brother, the latter being the groom’s brother-in-law. The other photo is Carolyn and I with Kanchen (sp??), who is sister/cousin of the groom and also is Lavina’s sister-in-law.

The actual wedding ceremony was going to happen from 2 to 4 AM, but we along with almost all of the guests, left about 1:30 AM. We realized that the whole flow of events was just about the reverse of what it is in the U.S. In the U.S. everyone is at the service, and that happens first. Then there are photos, and then a reception that might have a band. Here it was a band, then a reception, photos and finally a ceremony after most guests are gone. I felt like we had been on the movie set for a Bollywood film! Milan commented that the groom played a much more substantial role in the events than in an American wedding.

Everyone was so gracious. Lavina’s parents, brother Vinnie, sister-in-law Kanchen, brother-in-law Sonny, and the entire groom’s family made us feel not just welcome, but a real part of the celebration.