By ROB PELKEY
Online Editor

No topic is too simple, or too complicated - anything from "Why do Macs have weird power switches?" to "How does the Internet work?" If you have any such questions, or suggestions for software or sites to be reviewed in this column, feel free to e-mail them to me at rpelkey.

Sites of the Week

The Onion
http://www.theonion.com/

If Weekend Update were to put out a newspaper, this would be it. Started by a group of University of Wisconsin students as a weekly events calendar, this satirical newspaper has grown into a cult phenomenon. A new issue is released to the paper's web site every Wednesday, featuring around a dozen news items spoofing world and national events, prominent cultural figures, and social conditions; nowhere else will you find headlines like "New York City Installs Special `Infants-Only' Dumpsters," "Absent-Minded Professor Says Cure For Cancer `Around Here Somewhere'," or "Chinese Woman Gives Birth to Septuplets, Has One Week to Choose." Check out the site's "Award-Winning News" section for the best articles from the paper's two-year online history.

Bates Offline
http://www.nb.net/~bates/

This site, put together by a group of recent Bates alums, portrays a side of Bates life you won't find in any admissions publication. From inebriated WRBC DJ's taking to the airwaves on Newman Day to the goalposts getting tossed into the Puddle after the 1995 Bowdoin football victory, this site profiles the "glory days" of campus life when Page parties were a weekend staple and liquor inspectors did all their "inspecting" at the liquor commission offices. The site includes a section on The Bill in its heyday, featuring dramatic pictures of a 1992[?] Senior Week bonfire on the front lawn, and Quicktime video of Bill residents bowing before the porcelain god after a night of drunken revelry.

The Simpsons Archive
http://www.snpp.com/

Everything you ever wanted to know about The Simpsons. This site features episode summaries for every Simpsons show ever broadcast, previews of upcoming episodes, and frequently-asked-question lists about many aspects of the show, from the most basic questions ("which one's Itchy and which one's Scratchy?") to long documents on very specific topics (e.g. Simthers' sexuality). Now if only someone would put up a King of the Hill archive...

Switchboard
http://www.switchboard.com/

This site lets you search a directory of millions of postal addresses, e-mail addresses, and phone numbers, effectively allowing you to look up any address or phone number in the U.S. While it's great for looking up distant relatives, renewing contact with old friends, or just finding out how many people in America have the same name as you (I counted 52 Robert Pelkeys), sites like these are a great argument for more restrictive privacy laws. Search this site and you'll know what it feels like to be Big Brother.

Pollstar: The Concert Hotwire
http://www.pollstar.com/

A music site featuring an online database of concert tours. Search by artist to find out where your favorite group will be playing soon, or by city or venue to find out which bands will be coming to your town, and when. Also includes feature articles on music industry gossip, upcoming tours and albums, and specific artists.

'Ware of the Week

Snood
by David Dobson; $10 shareware
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~dob/snood.html

Snood is a new puzzle game that resembles Tetris in a number of ways; it has a brainless, addictive quality that hooks you in for hours of neuron-numbing fun. The nonviolent, self-paced gameplay and wacky, garish graphics make Snood a hit for the whole family, not just bored collge students.

Is it just me, or was half the campus addicted to this game during finals week? It seemed I couldn't set foot in a computer lab without either seeing someone wasting their time playing Snood, or seeing a copy of Snood on a computer left behind by a previous user. Snood mania even led WRBC members to start comparing high scores over the WRBC e-mail list. (None of them topped my own high score, 231,688 in Puzzle mode.) Game tip for those Snood junkies seeking similar glory: start in the Easy through Hard levels, then train yourself in Evil level; once you've beaten Evil level a few times, then try Puzzle mode for the ultimate challenge.

Snood is currently available for the Mac only. Don't despair, PC users; the author promises a beta for Windows 95 at the end of February, so you too will soon have the chance to get addicted.