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It would be hard to doubt the absolute "street cred" of "The Real World." Not only did it take reality television from relative obscurity to the apex of major network line-ups, but also it was an incredible show in its own right. "The Real World" rose to dominance by relying on a simple formula, which mixed seven psychologically unstable post-adolescents, a surplus of free time, and enough booze to make ODB's career look like an A.A. meeting.
This strategy seemed completely infallible and audiences marveled at the feuds, the random sexual activity, and of course the utter insanity of the cast members. There seemed to be a never-ending supply of above average looking, completely crazy people willing to live their lives on television. Then something terrible happened: the latest edition of the franchise, Philadelphia, torpedoed the entire formula.
Despite the wealth of applications for cast membership, MTV actually managed to dig up seven fairly boring individuals. None of them exhibit enough of the hallmark attributes of cast members (see: "psychological instability" above) and they combine to create the least- intriguing incarnation of "The Real World" yet.
A brief rundown of the characters involved here. First there is M.J., whose best qualities are using initials for a name and having maybe the stupidest tattoo in human history. Then we have Willy who is so genial that the best story line he's given us was sleeping through work on one occasion.
Oh the humanity. Karamo briefly shocked us with the requisite revelation of his sexuality, but has since provided only a few hilarious moments. We can suppose that Sarah is the sexual deviant of the group, but her exploits are more embarrassing (see: cast trip to Fiji 2004) than funny or interesting. Shavonda's claim to fame is that she has an ugly boyfriend and often gets worked up over small things. In the past this would have made her a solid ancillary cast member but among this bunch she is forced into the spotlight, which hardly suits her.
Second to last, we have Melanie who is not nice enough to be likable and not crazy enough to be compelling. These first six comprise the most anemic "Real World" cast of all time. In fact the show would be a complete wash if not for the efforts of an unstable individual from the "Dairyland" of Wisconsin.
Landon is the stand-out cast member. If this show is not remembered as the worst "Real World" of all time, it will be solely due to his efforts. Landon is to this show what Jordan was to the Bulls of the late 1980s. He literally has no talent around him but he is still, single-handedly, carrying this pathetic bunch (read: Bill Cartwright) to the second round of the playoffs. Without Landon, this cast barely wins thirty games. With Landon in play they are a legitimate playoff team. If you don't like basketball analogies, Landon is what Clooney was to "ER," what Chris Farley was to "Tommy Boy," what David Lee Roth was to Van Halen. It's not that the show doesn't happen without him, it's just a lot better with him around. In recent episodes, Landon has nearly pulled a knife on Melanie's friends, slept with Shavonda, and had his life threatened by Karamo. Is there a greater reality television trifecta?
If "Real World: Philadelphia" is known as the death of the franchise, we can all say that we were around to see the ship go down and Landon will be eulogized as its captain. So when "Real World: Des Moines" rolls around in 2010, just say you saw it coming.