By LAURA BROWN
Staff Writer

"TV SAID THAT?" -- Homer J. and Marge Simpson

Based on Larry Beinhart's novel "American Hero," "Wag the Dog" is a highly entertaining, wittily crafted portrayal of the manipulation of public perception through the far-reaching story-hungry media. Homer's reaction aptly sums up the basic premise of this film: the American public will believe anything TV, radio, and newspapers tell it.

Presidential spin doctor Conrad Brean (Robert DeNiro) is called to the White House eleven days before the election to help "clean up" the President's latest political blunder -- a moment of indiscretion with an adolescent Firefly Girl (read: Girl Scout). Since the American public lives and dies for this kind of nasty immoral scandal, Brean comes up with an (ingenious?) plan to divert the media's attention while improving the President's faltering image. Question: what does the American public hold even more precious than sordid sexual encounters? Why, violence of course! What restores the public's faith in their leader and makes him into a hero? Upholding good ol' American values in the face of tyranny! What kind of event would capture the public's attention and give the Prez a nice spit `n polish at the same time? A WAR! We'll start a war! Sure! Why the hell not? Oh, not a real war of course. That wouldn't be very cost effective. No, we'll just pretend we're having a war, and that way everybody wins and nobody gets hurt.

In order to have a war, one needs an enemy. But who can America pick on that doesn't have the ability to cause some serious damage when they hear what we're up to? Why, Albania, naturally! Albania's a nice, quiet little country. Ever met an Albanian? Could anyone find Albania on a map? Anyone ever even heard of Albania? It's the perfect enemy for the perfect deception.

So now Brean takes his plan and goes off to Hollywood with the President's top aid Winifred Ames (Anne Heche) in tow. There, he enlists the help of movie producer Stanley Motss (Dustin Hoffman) to pull of his little "pageant." What follows is a stingingly satirical and sometimes subtle comedy that manages to retain its edge throughout the film. Supporting roles by Kirsten Dunst, Andrea Martin, Willie Nelson, and Dennis Leary are excellently portrayed. Woody Harrelson makes an unbilled appearance as the soldier Motss finds to play a would-be war hero who supposedly gets left behind enemy lines in Canada (yes, Canada). Too bad he's serving a rather long prison sentence for a particularly ugly crime.

Some of the film's best moments come from the background action. For example, one campaign ad from the President's opposition shows a backdrop of the White House while Maurice Chevalier sings "Thank Heaven for Little Girls." The President's own campaign ads look like coffee commercials from the 1970's. A word of caution: listen closely or you'll miss out on some great lines, especially in Nelson's song lyrics.

Exceptional characters and intelligent, witty dialogue aside, there are a few other good reasons to watch "Wag the Dog". You get to learn the truth behind the Kennedy assassination, what really happened in the Persian Gulf, and a few other little secrets the government keeps locked up in the bottom drawer.

I only had one problem with this film -- I don't see how the charade could have been kept secret with all of the people involved. In one scene, Motss constructs fake documentary footage of an Albanian girl running through a ruined city clutching her kitten. This required about sixty people to create, including an actress who couldn't wait to put the job on her résumé. How to guarantee that all of those people will keep quiet and not tell their friends and family that the whole thing is really a sham when they see the "footage" on CNN? Apparently it's one of those aspects of Hollywood filmmaking we're just supposed to accept without question.

It's a pretty good question, though.

Even so, "Wag the Dog" is a humorous, well-written and even-better-acted film that provides a great distraction from those second semester blues and maddening senioritis.