Little Red Box

        When I was little my parents used to sing a song to me: “I wish I had a little red box to put my Ari in, for if I did I’d take her out and smooch smooch smooch (kissing sounds and facial expressions) and put her back again.” I’ve always felt blessed that they never had the box.
        Boxes and labels are hard for me to deal with. I understand that they can be helpful in certain contexts but I find that most of the time they become a hindrance. Boxes and labels allow people to generalize other people; allow us, as individuals, to become variations on a theme, to assume that we understand everyone else based on this label.
        My detest for boxing myself in, forcing labels upon myself, has led to a rebellion from the idea of “coming out”. The idea of “coming out” repulses me. Sitting around the dinner table with mom and dad and saying “I have to tell you something… (long pause) … I’m gay” is my idea of a nightmare. Not only because of the ridiculousness of the heteronormity that is American society and has created this idea of “coming out” but because it forces me, as an individual, to say, I’m part of this group of people that is completely misunderstood by over half of the American population. Even at Bates College some people still identify being queer/gay/lesbian/etc. with the AIDS crisis, a promiscuous lifestyle, and immoral behavior. I’m not gay. I’m not a lesbian. I’m not bisexual. I’m not part of the AIDS crisis, my lifestyle is not even comparable to “promiscuous” and the morality of my life is an opinion varying from person to person, moment to moment. I’m just Ari. That’s all. Plain and simple, rather boring really. 
        I don’t want to be pinned down by labels, by walls and ceilings we create for ourselves in order to stay in line. If a nice guy comes around and swoops me off my feet like Prince Charming fantastic, but if that doesn’t happen I don’t want to miss out on the beautiful girl with long brown curly hair who knows how to make me laugh or the person that doesn’t identify as boy or girl, woman or man but seems to read me really well despite not knowing me at all. Gender is not something I see when looking at the “attractiveness” of a person. I see them, purely.
        Relationships, partnerships - - - For me honesty, openness, and mutual respect is all that’s essential. The label (girl, boy, male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, queer, trans, bi, etc. etc. etc.) can be left out.

~ Student ‘06

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