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coming out anthology 2006

Marriage was so last century!

So, for the past couple years, issues surrounding the lives of gay, lesbian, or otherwise queer individuals have been relegated to several areas in mainstream rhetoric.  People argued about whether a human being who happened to have a sexuality deemed “deviant” had the right to fight, murder and kill for the imperialist army bent upon the destruction of human life and consolidation of power, and whether these individuals have the right to enter into a contract legally sanctioned by the government in order to validate their love.  Today I’m coming out; I’m coming out against gay marriage, and our obsession with it at the destruction of family structures!  This might sound strange coming from someone who is a self-identified queer, but that’s the beauty of the word.  No matter how hard you try, you can never define me, or my desires!  Sexuality belongs in a box, just as much as love and desire belongs in a fucking courtroom. 

Queer communities throughout our histories have had to fight together for our lives!  This has enabled us to develop support networks for one another, whose power goes beyond the bonds of partners, and into the realm of strong communities.  I am not saying that there is nothing to be said for the power of a cohesive unit of two individuals, and their ability to make changes, but let’s look at what marriage actually takes away from our support structures as queers.  By arguing that marriage needs to be extended to non-heterosexual couples, and making this one of the major issues that you talk about, you miss one of the most important aspects of community.  Marriage, at its core, is selfish and aims at creating a bond, legislated and sworn to be legitimate by governments, between two people that they could never have with other members of communities in which they find themselves.  This takes power away from queer support networks, by refocusing our power away from our brothers, sisters, and others.  This does not mean that two people in monogamous relationships cannot be involved in their community, but it does suggest a movement away from the highly developed sense of family that queer people built, towards a more highly focused, but ultimately less powerful and detrimental force to any creation of a critical mass of queer resistance to assimilation into the culture that values legality over human feelings. 

This legal issue is also important, because the legal system in the United States is maintained by, for, and affects only those who have the class and social privilege to be seen as acceptable members of society.  This puts people of color, incarcerated individuals, immigrants, and any other marginalized group at what is realistically speaking an impossible disadvantage to those that profit from these disparities in our legislative system.  By agreeing to be legally accepted by the federal government as being married, people are accepting the privilege that they have as opposed to other individuals, completely disregarding the idea that ones freedom is inherently linked with the freedom of all beings!  This does not mean that we should by any means put our issues as queers on the back burner, but just because you are part of the queer community doesn’t mean that you can’t fight against racism, imperialism, sexism, or any other byproduct of capitalism (but that’s a different coming out story) as a queer interested in tearing apart laws that are inherently unjust because of these byproducts in the fight for the equality, and freedom of all people.  By only allowing privileged classes of people certain rights such as visitation, health care (which is still inaccessible to most in the US anyway) and adoption rights, the government is forcing people who are otherwise in love, but do not have these rights because they are in same-sex relationships, to buy into the lifestyle of heterosexuals, and therefore privileged people.  This assimilation limits our power as a queer community, and cuts out the legs of other people who find themselves oppressed, making the oppressed (ourselves) the oppressors. 

So, here I am!  Your labels will never contain me, your laws will never legislate my love, and we as queers will work together to dismantle every facet of the federal government’s attempts at assimilating us into your heterosexist society!  My voice is just one of many queers who are coming out all over again.  Let’s create our own families, cause there ain’t nothing worse than compromise! 

- Nick Klinovsky ‘06




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